Right Time

I know now why God is so good..I realize a lot and think of this all over again and again..

As if God gaves me second chances..He is so good that he gave me a man of my dreams..He gave me a man who is impossible to love..to love me and I to love him..But it's happening now..despite the distances..Now that he is there in my life fulfilling my heart I really realize in joyous ways that God has forgiven me..That I have the right to love again..That I have the right to live in a colorful world..He gave my life meaningful again..He let me see how wonderful to be inlove again.

But it was sad that our love started so soon and distance is our enemy right after..

If only we started dating since highschool...
If only we see each other and talked a lot since we first met..
If only we are in the same school on college..
If only I was just in the same city within on our college years..
If only we see each other on and be close friends in our town..
If only I knew you have crush on me a long time a go..

and we could spend much time to be together,..

This night was really a teary and lonely night for me..I am longing for his presence or his messages. I am counting the days and months to see him again. It was about 1 month since we hardly not communicated unlike before and I notice everyday I get to miss him that much.

I was wondering how he is..what he is doing..there are lots of things rattling in my mind..but in the end I know we love each other and extremely devoted. I keep on remembering our promises..his promises to me whenever I feel or think something bad or someone had given feedbacks..

Watching the movie and I love you so was very touching..made think that those years that we are on our highschool and college was not the right time for us to be inlove with each other..Every relationship has the right time.

Way back

Way back time when he had been texting about how he felt..I didnt kow what to say or react but what I know is that there is no error..

He is single and I am too..He loves me and asking myself if I love him too?? I was afraid to love him back but I could say I like him and I am at ease or could I say there is really a connection between us..

I never doubt his feelings on me..I didn't know why but I believe in him right away..But reminiscing my past thats when I ask myself if he is saying the truth or am I receiving lies again? why does he loves me? There are so many questions in my mind but in my heart I am really willing to love him..I guess I was ready to commit again thats why I have commented that if I will fall or be inlove then he is finished..hehe..for I knew myself how to be inlove thats why I am afraid of loving and get hurt again because of betrayals..

As we see each other after a courting text..I didnt doubt and I am seeing in his eyes....I just cant figure it out..I love him! I knew I love him..and if everything seems to go wrong no worries we are on a long distance anayway and no strings attached..this was what I was thinking..but as time goes on everyday..I am longing to see him and be with him to feel I am his girlfriend..and if ever I think that we would end up our relationship it is really very painful and I could take it..I knew I love him from the moment we started our relationship. No doubt no question.

It has been months and he ask question why I answer yes to him right away I didnt know what to answer..ASking me if I have fall inlove or developed? I think both..I fall inlove with him right away and as time goes by my love for hime develops much stronger and deeper.

Relationship Unhidden

We travelled together going to bacolod. This will be the first time he would be going at our house and see my family.. He was nervous I could say that for it was a rush plan..I know he do things for me to show that his love was real..with courage he did go and I introduce him that he is already a man and not like a highschool student before..I am fulfilled that my family knew about our relationship. It was my first time to introduce to my family that I have a boyfriend. We were shy but I wanted to feel that his presence wasn't to be shy of. I was sad coz I think it was the last time we could see each other.

I was wrong..we celebrated our monthsary in bacolod for the first time after my medical check up on which he stood still and be there for me..To me it was I feel more secured and very happy..We also dated for the last time before he goes back and go travel in a vast ocean..

Most of our batch know that we are into relationship. When he got home as if he tells to any batchmates about the news. He get to spend time with his family and friends.It was amazing that he is so proud of me and not keeping our relationship hidden. This I finally could say that our relationship is for real and true love exist. I am so proud of him too..I know many people out there are jealous of the news that we the 2 of us are inlove..and it gives me a chill whenever our batchmates would ask for the wedding. I guess everyone is asking for those who knew..Well I am happy and I really miss him!

Profoundly Very Romantic

After bidding goodbye to him, I thought it was the last time seeing him again this year of April 4, 2010. It was said he would be leaving the country middle of May and has no time of going back home. We where busy on our works and also was sick and he was busy on his processing but he didn't pass on his medical exam, was afraid what went wrong so he had to undergo heavy diet. His schedule of leaving was extended.

I have been praying that we could see each other again and it was heard. He got the week long of no training and despite of the frustration to get back on the job this May we were happy then. I went back to the apartment so we could finally see each other again this May 26th . After a day he went to travel to go see me. What I like most about him was he really see to it that we could see each other despite the distance.

Things where really different when I am with him. Us being together was the happiest day of my life. The romance was there present every second. Finally I could kiss and hug him again like I wanted before. Second meeting of ours was funny and very romantic than the first. We do crazy stuff and watch movie. We stroll around the mall and talk a lot. Sometimes I was being jealous of his stories even it was only for fun. Even though people in the apartment was not being nicely hospitable towards him it was ok. Important is we had each others arms to be together. Spending some time with him was great and we make it memorable for he would be leaving weeks after.

But then again he had also to go home to his family to fix things up while he is gone. I prevent him from going home and let him extend for 1 day. I cried a night before for I can't carry on if he would be far away. But I have to be strong for both of us. He made me strong and I trust him that much. I was to selfish with him to his family so I have to let him go home. But we went home together for I was sick. Asking him to go with him for I don't want to be alone in the apartment even though I have to go home on friday. I can't wait for friday to get home, all I want was to be with him while traveling on a ferry. I really enjoy a lot and feel safe when we travel and ride on a ferry.

That ended our memories in my apartment. I miss our days and nights together. The feeling was a lil bit crazy but it was intimate profoundly very romantic. He makes me feel that way, the love is all over and as being as one. I miss looking at him while he was sleeping or feeling his warmth body, his breath and his heartbeat. I miss hugging him while we were asleep. I miss the whole him. This was sad but it has to be. Even no promises I will be waiting for him to come home.

Realization

For a relationship to be secure you need to know you can ask the other person anything, and get an honest answer, and that you can tell them anything and be listened to.

Love you forever and forever

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart.


We celebrated our 3 monthsary together not only through phones. It's our first monthsary together. So this is how it feels being with your love one on a monthsary.

For 3 months and the whole week we our together I feel I knew him on the past and as if we were together for a very long time. How amazing our relationship is coming on a faster phase. How it has been stable for 3 months and going stronger.

We been very affectionate with each other and feeling of not letting him go away on my eyes. I can't wait to be with him everyday and every night. I misses the things we did like listening to music, cooking, eating, reading and chatting together. But I know time is fast and we could do this again.

To my honeytubes... praying for your safe journey ahead. How sad it is you will be more far away from me but rest assure I will wait for you here. Now that we have really the connection, I will takecare of it and conquer all hindrances and temptation that may crash our relationship. FOr better or for worst I will always love you deep down in my heart.

Time is So Short

Time is so short for us. So we spent it on my room talking and getting to know each other like husband and wife.

We scroll around the places I usually go, on my alma matter and on the church I usually go and baptized. As the mall opened, we buy common things, had groceries together and watch movies.

It's indescribable feeling on his last day with me. I wanted to cry but my heart is pounding... stopping it to fall. I had accompanied him on his ride to the airport. The last kiss I had with him on public. My first time to kiss a man on public and it's with him. he really is proud of me and love me approvingly on public. I am missing him and I don't want to wash away my mouth to sealed his kiss. By the end of the day we are back on communicating thru text, chat, voice and video call. I wont forget our 1 week vacation, its all worth it.

Love Finds a Way

Love finds a way and we did it. We make sacrifices by telling lies to our parents, relatives and friends just to see each other. It's not that they are opposing our relationship, it's just that our family needs our presence but we choose to be together, to see each other for the first time as we have long distance relationship from the start and in our hearts we are longing to be with each others arms. And I entirely miss him. Missed our chit chat up until morning, we nearly forgotten we had to sleep. Our long intimate nights, hugging and kissing each other.

Best Vacation

Our most awaited vacation and seeing him as my boyfriend for the first time is quite nervous and don't know what to expect.

I was naive for I don't know how to feel and our common classmate was there present to in our trip knowingly that our meet up is very confidential. But despite of that I became at ease after hours and we had a great talks that was like on the phone. It was fun to be with him like every women would dream of.

Our first day together is amazing and we became intimate. New experience for me to be with the man I dearly love for the night alone. I am finally in his arms. I could finally say we really had each other. We captured our hearts together. I felt that its hard for me to let go of him. He owns me know like I own him.

As days goes by, we are going really very close and no more shyness as before. We do care for each other, knowing him more and more makes me feel I am so lucky and dearly loving him more. As time passes by we became one and this is it, we really had indescribable affection and I could really feel we are now connected trustingly. As he says it, we had a covenant and vow to take care of.

I drastically trust him. It's in him that I really trust unlike anybody else. I trust him like I gave myself in. With the vacation we have spent together I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

True Love

All I think about now is to be with you...

I hope....

Nothing can separate us
Nothing can come between us
for this love is ours.

I am thinking now what if I don't have a boyfriend whom will call or text me everyday asking how am I doing especially now that I only infront of my laptop every hour seeing people through internet only, I guess I will feel such boredom and be on dismay and desperate all over again. Life must go on then seeking a better place for me. But he came along and knowing I can't plan for myself but for us... gives me glory of life and substantially be on the go to move forward for the future happiness.

My tubes, my honey is my greatest possession beginning this year. With the ever changing life with him and nourishing deeper bond...all I can say is I love him with all my heart and to this point I could entirely say its true love. Real love doesn't only survive over time, it grows stronger, and deeper. Will it be for us too? its a question will find the answer as time goes by. I don't want to go back on my past life..I want my life now with him.

I can't imagine being with him physically for we had only been communicating through our most valued cellphones. I have been busy on work but I see to it I will have time for him and I am now on the go of looking always on my cellphone. I don't know how to react personally, will it be like on the calls? but one thing is for sure, like to hug him tight like there is no end and time stops to show him I am so grateful and so love him much. I like to see it on his eyes..looking at each others eyes and saying 'I Love You'....

Now and Always

I am missing my tubes entirely. A new terms of endearment for us. Tubes! Tubes! Tubes!

I could see he really do so much effort for me to believe and trust him. It was new for me, a man does this. I feel important as a person.

Seeing new things in the future with him is promising and exciting.

Time moves fast and we are making the most of it...communicating everyday... for he would be far away soon because of his job. I hope he will be good and behave there! I also do hope he would be thinking of me most of the time but he need not to worry a thing on me for my heart will be his for a lifetime.

I am also amazed he is proud of me as his girlfriend for he never denies me to his friends. Likewise he takes courage to chit chat with my sisters showing he never tell me lies and he is being true and the whole thing in our relationship.

I know my life was and is full of if's...But remembering what he says and the theories he gaves me make me think yes it is and this must be it. No doubts..no worries..I'm his now and always

Long Distance Relationship

At first I never get this ideas and may said I will not engage into this. But I was wrong. When you really love a person by any chance you have to take a risk. Here is what commitment and dedication shows in a relationship, how strong would it be?

From the moment I have invested my love to him I have committed myself in the relationship. It has been 2 months since we started our relationship and we haven't seen each other but only through voice call, video call and text messages but we are dedicated to be with each other and somehow put effort to communicate to make it stable and stronger. We don't have rules but we knew into our hearts we have to be on the same page to understand our ideals.

Anything goes about love, but one thing is for sure. Trust your love and be open minded.


Honey, Far or Near..I love you with all my heart and soul. You are my everything.

Happy 2 Months!

It's been 2 months and we are proving everyone knows their wrong..Feels good for me and him to be this long even though we are far away..I will be seeing him soon(excited). I don't know what it would be like seeing him face to face..seeing the man I honestly love!

As days goes, I had top admit I am missing him so much. I just can't stop thinking about him from day to day. My life is worth changing and not boring especially now I'm into homebased.

Thanks a lot hon for realizing me how amazing to loved and to be loved by you. I wish for us to be stronger and our plans together to come true. I can't wait to be with you for a lifetime. Even though you are far away my heart will always be with you. Go with your dreams and I am her to support you and be waiting for you always and forever.

I love you so much my hubby my everything.

My Favorite Song

My favorite song over the years and now depicts our love story. So amazing. This is for you my Mr..my Honey..mwaaah

And Me U by Rachelle Ann Go

You say you love
And what you'd do for me
But you're uncertain
How will I react
You look real nervous
So scared that I'll turn and never
Look back.wooohh

Refrain:

I didn't swear I would stay
Did I, I never thought you would
Doubt me that way
But if you need an answer in all
Honesty

Chorus:

You say you want me
Each day you love me deeper
Well, baby and me u
You long to hold me
I make your life much sweeter
That'how i feel for you too
I move real slowly
I guess it's just my way
That doesn't mean
I don't feel deep inside
When you're not with me
I want to be there
Just holding you tight
so tight

Refrain:

It's not like I feel ensure
My heart is focused like never before
And of you need an answer in all honesty
(repeat chorus)

Bridge:
I believe, didn't you,didn't you tell it
Only me forever there's no doubt
That's how I feel for you too
(repeat chorus)

Happy First Monthsary

Our first monthsary as a couple. Though we're far away I felt new changes in my life and I am loving it the way you do. Hope our love for each other grows deeper everyday. I love you so much for a life time.

Hope we will be together soon to celebrate it together and not far apart. See you soon..Longing for your presence and hugs to make me feel I'm with you for the rest of my life.

We have come this far and thank you for coming into my life. God is good and forgiving God for he has brought you to me unexpectedly.

Happy First Monthsary moy...I love you so much now and for a life time.

Happy Birthday Moy

Today is his birthday. Happy Birthday Moy!

Even though we are not together I could feel his love and care. I have also made a fan art for him with our photos together, sort of a gift. I ope he opened his facebook today and friendster for my comment.

Officially missing and joyfully loving you!

Calls

We talk each other by phone about anything else. Especially talking about our personal issues for we are away with each other. Importantly we talked about our relationship, how it's going to be and to the future.

We never run out of topics. He was cool and funny. He makes me laugh all night and how much I misses him and longing to be with him for fun talks like we use to each other when we are still just friends.

As he said if there are no sleepy thing we would not end up the our calls..hehe..love the way he talks and seriously he is kind of man a woman hopes for.

Dream of Him

It was the first time I have dream of him. Not remembered the exact details but I sweet and romantic...hahaha..

I guess I'm so in love with him.

Discoveries

I have discovered a lot on this night up to early in the morning.

My guy bestfriend which we are fond of chatting and also we have called each other a lot of names, I know him better on chat which ideally we can't talk much on person. This was his birthday celebration and so happy we could talk long enough personally... Hahaha

I had also been on talking to the guy who I miss a lot since there was a gap long ago due to his wondrous feelings about me. I just realize how much I miss our laughter's together. He is one of my first closest friend in my workplace.

Also it was amazingly weird about knowing new relationships with the group. I have stated there were people inlove and brokenhearted. There were interviews and teases about me and I could say that Thank God I finally found him for such many reasons I wanted it to be a lifetime.

Capricorn Men

Capricorn December 23 – January 20

A man in this Zodiac will has a pair of round big beautiful eyes, a nice structure jaw line. He is a good listener and can understand everything easily and clearly. He can guess what you will say before you even say it. He often shakes his head or touches his hair.

He is a big built, but he will tend to have a small ear. He tends to have a darker shade of hair and eyes’ color. He will likely have a short and strong neck, broad shoulder, muscular, strong hands and grips. He has a shorter fingers compare to the man of the same size and same height in the other zodiac. His hands can work well at the same time can protect and care for his woman.

His height will be proportional to his weight. He will walk firmly and always take a big long step. As he walks he will look around in caution with no disturbance from his problems at present or in the past. He likes to watch things built with fascinate and wonder about how it is done, so you could see him watching a construction site and not get bored. He is a good dancer.

He is a careful person in instinct, so even at dance floor; he will already have to know what in front or behind him before he will take any steps. Green is his favorite color. You will mostly see him wear green, navy, blue, or brown. In all 12 Zodiacs, he is the one who can get the most satisfaction from possession of beautiful thing, and cherish it as if it is very valuable to him even it is just a crystal ball made in France.

It is his luck that he hardly has to chase after woman. They always come themselves without his invitation. He likes to treat his guest in his house than visiting his guest at their house. He does not like to be a center of attention, so if you need his help, you have to look up for him. He lives his life in stability and simplicity.

Every decisions made are already “Sure” and carefully thought out. He will not do what he has been asked to do if he is not interested in doing it. He acts casually but in reality, he always doing things seriously. He loves peaceful and quiet environment so in his free time, he will stay at home instead of going out and look for adventure.

He loves nature and dreams of a nice and quiet house with lots of trees, or he may dream of a house in a beautiful countryside. He will let you have freedoms and watching you in a distance. If you are over doing something, he will let you know by his icy cold look. He is the perfect lover in the entire Zodiac for nothing he will not do for his love one.

He won’t allow people to laugh at him or think he is a joker, so he will spent for him luxury for what it is worth. He likes neat and well dressed woman, so do not be slop if you are dating this guy. If you do that he will loose his face. He is the romantic type who would dance with you under the moon light. Love will make him shines and you will see it in his face. He will not say it out loud; you have to know it yourself.

Is it possible to miss...

Is it possible to miss
something never expected
Is it possible to long for
something never experienced
Is it possible to wish for
something never believed

How long does the taste of chocolate
linger before it can be tasted a new?

I Never Thought...

i never thought i'd hurt like this...
i never thought i'd be betrayed, backstabbed, used, abandoned, soulwounded like i have...
i never thought i'd be who i am... someone bigger brighter better flashier smarter prettier
everything a girl should be

but...
i am i, and that is enough...
because...



i never thought i'd feel like this, be healed like this...
never thought i'd love like this--
never thought i'd love at all...
never at all, and never like this
but i do... and it is beautiful... and it is enough...

Your Guardian Angel by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Fall For You by Secondhand Serenade

Fall For You

I'm still here by Vertical Horizon

I Remember You by Skid Row

Waiting for Him

I can't believe we have more plans together. He sees to it to stood up in his promises. Even though we are apart he surely wants me in his future life. I hope those plans would come true and I can't wait for it to happened. Everyday I discovered more about him and love him more dearly.

I love my moy.. I hope we could see each other again shortly in time. I miss him and wanted to be with him. Good luck in his journey, even though I am not by his side but my love would accompanied him where ever he takes and comes home safe and sound. I will be waiting for him as soon as he comes back.

Spirited Love

I never thought that this year would be as colorful and lovely.

After all these years, thinking of the wasteful and foolish heart of mine has gone through. More tears had been made and flowed down on my cheeks, things where different this year in time.

Reminiscing the past is a joyful thing but secretly been enthusiast. I have been left out, been silent and been bored on what life has to come on future when I am not in high spirits anymore. The things had happend to me was a very most reflection of myself now. I have been down, stumbled and fall numerously and it keeps on going drastically. Bitterness has overflown in m heart than love and forgiveness. Time then lead me to realize moving on is the most important thing to do, never look back on the pungency but on the blissful moments. Life is indeed learning from experiences and God lead me to the right path, a choice I never expect to happened.

I use to say, never tangle myself into love for I can't bare to hurt anyone, (but they are hurting me) and I am no luck on this stage of life. I had focus myself in my career for there were lots of oppurtunities coming and I could see my luck is in this field.

Then suddenly this Angel in disguised came in my life after years of no communication. Our story now begins this year of 2010. A very Happy New Year.

January 1, 2009 was a time when he had been seriously texting me that all he tells me was all true and no joke. Because I would play around with his texts when he calls me 'ghang' and I do call him back that way in a joke form. He would say he had the feeling on Christmas holiday when we had our reunion. After reunion I could recall he would contact me everyday. I was happy he never forgets and he makes me smile.

January 2, 2009 was a time of our first date and be with him alone for the first time. No group date. We had so much talks, from high school days to college up to works, telling about our lives when we are away and no communication with each other.

I remember too, when he contacted me back on our college years. Of course it was a long distance but he was consistent on texting and calling me. that time I was committed and he was too. We share happy and sad moments with our love ones. We advice each other and we in fact call each other "best". I didn't remember how our communication shutdown. We had break ups with our own partners and we move on with no updates on each other. I guess he was busy and heard he was on training.

The date was fun and memorable although he was seemingly shy. My approach was so friendly and I was comfortable with him. I would say from yesterday that let us see what would be my feelings if I see him. Well we eat and watch movie I was totally amazed we never stop talking and laughing. As if the joys was there and the sparks was all present from within. Yes I like him way back in high school for I like smart guys but it was nothing serious and never been on my mind to his girlfriend.

Then we got home and I know we had a mutual understanding already. We texted all night and reveal our feelings each other. I thought he would just say he liked me but he said he love me and sees me in his future life. He even said lets get married tomorrow. I never knew a guy that they may say things and plan things with me even though we are apart and no relationship first. He also reveals how much he plan on how he can captured my heart.

January 3 was a time I could not believe I love him more than ever. I never felt this way. He then calls me his wife and I really like it for he really sees me in his future. This was really a serious relationship and a matured one.

January 4 was I heard him in the phone saying I love you with my full name and appending his surname as my surname now. I don't know what to feel but had laugh myself out, I'm in high spirits! We talk and I felt missing him.

January 5 was a day of revelation that I have a boyfriend. I felt freedom to love him and shout to the world that I am his girlfriend and he is my boyfriend. I felt more missing him and more loving him.

January 6 was a time he said we have to tell our friend having feelings towards me that I have a boyfriend and he is the one. Good thing the talks came out successfully with the 2. He also reveals he begins liking me on high school years. He also had notice me being so simple from high school and up to know. So the one he was talking about that he had a crush on way back was me.

I ask him if he was ok on a long distance relationship and he said yes, because that would be the nature of his job. We understand each other lives that career must be on first. I know our limits and no rules is involve, the important is we believe each others love and compassion. I trust him as he trust me.

He was really my angel in disguise, a love that would last a life time. After all those years he waited and plan capturing my heart, true love gets on us and I will love him every moment of my life. I was really astonished and in love with this guy, he would tell me his search was over now that he finds me.